Losing Altitude Above The Indian Ocean

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1

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9 am and the kitchen cabinets had been left open and the drawers had all been pulled out.

 

She had been looking for something:

 

Clumps of raw ground beef splattered across the faux granite countertops. She must have ravenous perhaps, hoping to devour us all in due time.

 

I found her in the living room in her virtual reality headset, head swiveling around, seeing things that I couldn't.

 

She was beautiful in her night clothes:

 

A baggy IUPUI  t-shirt, bare legged in white ankle socks.

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"Good morning," I said. "What's going on? What are you playing?"

 

"I'm not playing anything ,"as she said. "It's a  point-of-view plane crash simulator. I'm one of the passengers."

 

Like astral projection and indignity digitized, it was as if nothing was sacred.

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"I'm a passenger on Flight MH370 and we're loosing altitude above the Indian Ocean," she said breathlessly.

 

"238 souls on board," she continued, "excuse me, its 239 when I count myself."

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In a way, we were all on that flight.

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"It's so realistic," she said "I can see actual tears on their faces."

 

I could dress you, I thought and brush your hair, or wire myself with dynamite to implode.

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2

 

In the 1970's, peep shows made millions of dollars, one quarter at a time.

 

And so I wondered:

 

Did I even exist if not held in another's mind?

 

I chewed a gummy multi-vitamin and then another but even this didn't help.

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3

 

"We're in free fall, now." she said, he teeth gritted, her body going rigid.

 

"Bracing for impact, now."

 

I imagined the sea opening, gaping, ready to subsume the Boeing 747 and all the dreams held within.

 

"Oh my god," she said.

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"Don't worry," I said. "This won't hurt."

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"There's babies crying, people panicking, trying to put on oxygen masks. A business man howling. This woman, this red-faced, pudgy woman is praying aloud, speaking in tongues."

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"I can't promise you an afterlife," I said.

 

Though I longed to be seen, I took refuge in the knowledge that, after impact, the ocean would smooth

 

as if none of this had even happened.